Medium Rare
by Dawn of Chaos
Summary: No. I never wanted love. However, sometimes it sneaks up and pounces without a second thought. Kind of like Cupid's arrow. Well … I think Cupid is blind and has terrible aim.
1. Chapter 1

**Song: **{Love the Way You Lie} by {Eminem ft. Rihanna}

**Summary:** No. I never wanted love. However, sometimes it sneaks up and pounces without a second thought. Kind of like Cupid's arrow. Well … I think Cupid is blind and has terrible aim.

**Pairing:** Grimmjow x Ulquiorra

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><p>The door slams shut and I press my back against it, my fingers automatically moving to turn the lock just as the knob rattles. His fists slam against the thin door. He's angry; what he's angry at I'll never know. I don't <em>want<em> to know. Maybe it's because I didn't clean the kitchen or maybe it's because something happened at work. But I'll never know, that's that. All I can do is hope that his fist doesn't splinter this pressed wood and break through it. In all honesty … it wouldn't surprise me if it happened.

He's violent, yes. He's full of himself, yes that's true too. He can be a bully, I suppose that one hits the nail on the head. He's also caring underneath all the bad and passionate about the relationship that sparked between us. I can't explain it myself. The first time our eyes locked it had been sparks, of hatred or love I can't say, but after I met him I knew I couldn't live without him. I couldn't breathe anymore with him not around than when he was. I've always been suffocated by him, more so than I really want. No. I never wanted _love_. However, sometimes it sneaks up and pounces without a second thought. Kind of like Cupid's arrow.

_I think Cupid is blind and has terrible aim._

I'm his opposite and his similar. I have his confidence, but I don't flash it at everyone. I can be full of myself, but I'll hide it in my silence. He's loud and I'm quiet. He's acts without thinking and I think of everything before I act. Despite all the bad and the violence, I can't find it in me to leave him. Ha. I guess that's what happens. People falling for their captors when they're kidnapped for long periods of time.

"Open the damn door!"

I shake my head even though he can't see me. Instead, I push away from the thin wood of a door and over to our closet. Digging out the old suitcase I'd kept from when we moved in, I open it up there on the floor. I fling clothes into it, but try to keep them orderly so I can get more in. My heart races faster than I could imagine it go without me having a heart attack. Yet all I can do is move calmly, my body on autopilot.

A growl seems to flutter to my ears, "Dammit Ulquiorra, open the fucking door."

They've told me to leave him. They've told him to leave me. I guess when you're this _in love_ … it doesn't matter what anyone says, anyone but the one you "love". Which is exactly why I abandon the half packed suitcase at my feet, turning around and striding to the door with my long legs. My deep emerald eyes hover on the doorknob before I flick the lock and take a step back as it opens.

Cerulean orbs automatically focus on the suitcase behind me and I can see his arm as it lifts, but I don't stop it, it'll just make things worse. The back of his hand slams into my face and I'm caught off balance, turning to the side and grabbing for the lip of the dresser. My fingers stay locked with the edge while my forehead rests against the front of it, my cheek stinging from the sharp impact his pure strength had made. As his huffing regulates into normal breathing he runs a tan hand through his short, cyan spikes. "Look, I didn't- Sorry."

He goes to kneel down and I shake my head. "Stay away from me Grimmjow. If you don't, I'll hurt you."

His laughter rings in my ears, the tone always as sweet and intoxicating as honey. "That I'd like to see!"

I glare at him over my shoulder, my lips pulled into a thin line as he reaches over and runs his fingers through my short, ebony hair. "You wouldn't comprehend it anyway. You're all muscle, no brain." His teeth grit together and his fingers fist in my tresses, my words masking the wince. "You're just a rat on steroids."

_This is what we do. He beats me physically …. I beat back mentally. A never ending cycle of pain and lust. I wonder which is truly more dangerous._

My back is shoved to the ground as Grimmjow straddles my waist, one large hand pinning my wrists above my head. I can tell he's thinking about me and trying to shove the urge to let his knuckles meet my body. For this is how the game is played. He'll batter and I'll bruise. He'll shatter and I'll insult. That is, until his lips forcefully meet mine in a shock of rage and passion.

Grimmjow releases my wrists and I wind my arms up around his shoulders. The day is forgotten as I'm hauled up off the floor and dropped onto our rickety mattress.

_The last time he'll ever touch me._

As the morning rolls in I stand over him, the blankets strewn about over his bare body that looks to be chiseled from the finest stone. Perfect. Then again, even perfection has it's flaws and his are beyond what I expected. I lift one of my bags onto my shoulder, the strap digging into one of the love bites he left on my shoulder. I lean down, just enough so that my hair won't graze over his face, and give him a smile he hasn't seen in years and still won't see. Walking to the door of our bedroom I yank up the other suitcase I had half-packed the other day.

My feet carry me through the house, all the memories burning from my mind as I continue to burn the bridge keeping us linked. I swallow hard as I shut the front door as quietly as I can. A car idles at the curb of the sidewalk, the orange haired man in the driver's seat awaiting my escape. I can see his fingers tapping impatiently against the steering wheel and his brown eyes glancing over the house for any sign of Grimmjow emerging. As I settle into the passenger's seat after throwing my bags in the back, I feel his eyes graze over me protectively, searching for any sign of hurt.

I wave for him to stop and I lean against the door as it locks. "Just drive Ichigo."

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><p><em>Another little oneshot.<em>

_Got sick of the lovey dovey stuff, so something different. Plus, Grimm can be pretty mean, so I used that to my advantage. ^^ I miss GrimmUlqui honestly~_


	2. Chapter 2

_So I honestly was worried when I wrote the original one-shot. First off, this isn't meant to be fluff. Angst would be more likely. This is very well based off of the song by Eminem that I mentioned on the part before this one. I don't plan to__continue__this forward and you'll see why at the end._

_[sigh] Honestly people. Abusive relationships are hard to get out of and easy to fall into, especially if the man/woman is everything you're looking for ... until they show their violent side. So please, I don't condone actions such as these but I can understand and sympathize with those that have gone through this and those that are._

_Please. Do not review with saying how "cute" this is. This is serious. Reality is what this is, using fictional characters and a slightly exaggerated ending (only because it fits with the song)._

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><p>Tapping; the insistent sound of tapping drives my nerves into hyper drive and making it where I can't concentrate on not thinking about Grimmjow. That's when I realize that I'm the one tapping, tapping my foot to be more precise. Nothing seems to satisfy my mind as I wait for Ichigo to finish cooking dinner. But as my mind finds its way back to Grimmjow I can't help but feel nauseous.<p>

I did something that oh so many people _wish_ they could do. I got away from his "abusive love", as the officials have dubbed it. Although ... even as I sit here on Ichigo's couch, I find myself wishing I was back at home with Grimmjow.

Ichigo strides into the living room and plops down on the couch beside me, hands stuffed into the pockets of his dark violet jeans. The white t-shirt sits perfectly on his shoulders with the collar pressed down just so...the image of a well kept man that takes pride and confidence in what he does and says. The exact same confidence that Grimmjow has when he would whisper in my ear that he's sorry for hitting me, that he loves me.

My dark emerald eyes have to blink a couple times before Ichigo is the one sitting beside me and not Grimmjow, my heart ganging up with my mind to play harsh tricks on me. Ichigo's sun kissed hand reaches over to ruffle my shaggy, ebony tresses falling around my face. "Come on Ulquiorra, smile at least once for me. You're finally away from him! That's good!"

I try my best to flash him a miniscule smile, knowing perfectly well that it won't satisfy him for long. Ichigo drags his fingers roughly through his orange spikes, which have grown longer since the last time I had seen him. When he picked me up two days ago that had been the first time I had seen him in months. "I'll leave once I can get a job."

Ichigo's mouth visibly drops open, his eyes wide. "What- No, no, no, Ulquiorra you don't get it. You're staying with me until I deem you ready to leave!"

_He's just as cocky and self-assured as ever. Just like a certain someone I know._

I stand up and brush my palms over the gray slacks hanging from my slim hips. The simple white t-shirt billows around my torso as I walk around the couch, heading for the guest bedroom on the second floor of Ichigo's house. He shoots me an odd look as I do, "Aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry. I'll just get up early and eat breakfast. Good night Ichigo."

"But Ulqui-"

His sentence fades off as I round the first platform of the stairs and get just out of earshot. Yet as I do I find my legs slowing in their pace and my breath evening out into deep, heavy sighs. The door at the end of the hall is where I'm set to stay for however long I can despite the fact that I doubt I want to. As I walk into the well kept room I sit just on the edge of the bed, staring at my bags that rest on the floor; unpacked only to the point where I need to pull something out of it to wear.

It's almost as if I can't do much of anything; talk, think, eat ... breathe right without being around him. The sparks we felt at the beginning I know are still there even if they are as embers dying down from being buried amongst the ashes of our feelings.

I've never felt this way, I never had felt love either, but now that I have ... I'm not sure of anything anymore. It feels right and it feels wrong ... feels like a knife is jabbed into my stomach and if I take it out I'll die, but if I leave it in I'll still die.

A lose-lose situation that I'll never win because I'm addicted to him.

_**x.X.x.X.x.X.x**_

_I watch him adjust the brown paper-bag in his arms as he walks down the sidewalk, getting closer and closer to being in this home with me again. He knows that I shouldn't be home from work yet and that he should have plenty of time to make dinner, but he doesn't know that I've gotten the rest of the day off._

_His long legs used to carry him so confidently, as if he walked on cloud, but now they're walking in sluggish and weary strides. The way his short ebony tresses would curl and wave around his face as he goes along would drive me crazy, making_me_want to be the thing that caresses his face that way. Every time I'd get around him I'd find myself unable to be just that, myself. Just being around his stoic self was like huffing paint, this sort of high clouding all of my senses._

_The toe of his sneaker stubs against the sidewalk and he stumbles forward. A strong arm winds around his waist to keep him from falling face first into the pavement before I can even move from my position at the window. A lopsided grin sits on a sharp countenance despite the frown shot his way by his partner standing further off._

_Crimson hair cascades down around him and in the way of his eyes, his thin lips moving as he talks to_my_boyfriend. I spin away from the window and stomp my way through the house, heading for the front door. I can tell that just as I open it, the redhead stops whatever he's about to say. "Something wrong Ulquiorra?"_

_The duo automatically begins to move on their way as I make my way down to the sidewalk, my hand reaching over to snatch the bag from his arms. His eyes cut over at me, "No."_

_I ignore him and begin back to the house, not daring to let him know how much_I'm_suffering. I love this man, but I hate him just as much and when he hates me back, I seem to love him more._

We're just running in fucking circles, never finding the finish line.

_**x.X.x.X.x.X.x**_

"_Where the fuck do you think you can go!"_

_Ulquiorra glares back at me, a suitcase clutched in each hand as he stands before the front door. A dark, rich laugh tears from my throat as I stand up from the couch, the remote to the TV tumbling down on the coffee table. "I'll go where I want Grimmjow."_

"_No one_wants _you! Don't you get it? It's you and me. So go set your damn bags down and come sit with me."_

_Deep green eyes seem to give in and I wish I knew what made him suddenly change his mind. We were doing so well; as good as when we first started dating. But now we're spiraling down and about to crash, sending the splintered remains of our relationship into our own chests, killing us slowly. But I won't let him leave me with the mess to clean up._

_Ulquiorra sets only one bag down, turning his back to me so he can grasp at the doorknob, turning it halfway. He can't turn it any further though, his body slamming into the door as I appear behind him, my hands on the back of his head and grabbing at the wrist of the hand trying to turn the doorknob._

"_I said, set your damn bags down and come sit with me. Or are you deaf?"_

"_I'd never sit with a pig like you ever again."_

_I yank him away from the door and I can tell he felt safer pressed up against it, because he knows that when I promised him I'd never hit him again ... that I lied. Lied straight through my teeth and I knew it then too. I know we both know we get lost in the moment of yelling and fighting, the adrenaline the only thing that keeps us thrashing out at each other._

_His nails rake over my arm, slivers of red dotting my tanned skin. It's just throwing gasoline on a fire and he knows it, knows what's coming next. His back slams against the floor with the other suitcase in his hand forgotten, digits only focusing on trying to shield his body from me as I kneel over him, straddling him. My knuckles slam into his stomach and a groan of pain echoes in my ears as he reaches up as I lean down, pinning one of his hands above his head. The other hand snakes to freedom and his fingers dig into my cerulean spikes as he yanks at my hair, pulling my face down just above his._

_The rage takes both of us over and I can't stop my fingers from wrapping around his slim neck, the pale skin instantly being marked with the impression of my grip. The hand lodged and pulling on my hair untangles itself. Fingers aim for my eyes but I tilt my head and his fingers stab into my mouth and I bite down, the metallic taste setting my taste buds on fire._

_Ulquiorra gasps for air, tears beading at the corners of his eyes, which stare up at me, close to pleading. Something he'd never do, never sink so low to do and for a second it scares me...But only for a second._

_Suddenly we're not fighting, my hands are on either side of his head and his own hands are draped over my shoulders. I'm not grinning at him, I'm smirking. He's not glaring, he's staring. The heat between us isn't anger and rage; it's pure and raw love and lust._

His temper is just as bad as mine; we conflict and bounce off of each other; the perfect match, the perfect opposites. No, the next time he tries to leave me, I'll make sure neither of us can ever quit on one another again.

I just love him and I want him back ... never to leave again.

_**x.X.x.X.x.X.x**_

_When Grimmjow did something, whether it was good or bad, he put his all into it. I guess I should be thankful for that at least._

I glance at the alarm clock sitting on the table bedside the bed; 10:55 PM. My feet hit the ground as I swing my legs over the edge of the bed. The suitcases at my feet are already packed tight and clamped shut, making it easier for me to stand up and pick them straight up. I crack the door to the bedroom open and peek around the door, my ears straining to hear any sounds.

Quietly I walk down the stairs, careful to stay on the sides and not walk directly down the middle. The TV in the living room flashes its glare upon the form sleeping on the couch, his head lolled over onto the arm of the couch while the remote dangles from his fingers. I nod a thank you to Ichigo's peacefully sleeping body as I go straight to the door, snagging his car keys from the hook as I go.

The drive back to that house is short, probably because I'm on autopilot as I shift the vehicle into park. I leave the keys on the front seat and the doors unlocked as I get out, my bags sitting in the back seat. As I start up to the front door I see a light click on, followed by a couple more.

My arm lifts up to knock only for my fist to be grabbed by a larger hand, warm against my cold skin. "Ulquiorra," is all that comes from his lips as I'm enveloped in his arms, his nose nuzzling into the crook of my neck and his lips pressing softly against the bruised skin.

Grimmjow pulls away and leads me inside, the silence between us saying everything without saying anything at all. The bedroom door clicks shut behind us just before I'm shoved down onto the mattress, his muscled body hovering over me, my eyes locked with his. I glance to my right to see two glasses and a bottle of wine ... and I know he was waiting on me.

_**x.X.x.X.x.X.x**_

My vision swims and turns as I struggle to open my eyes, my tongue trying its best to wet my lips. It doesn't work very well with my mouth itself being dry, so I try to call out for Grimmjow. However, only a squeak seems to come out. As I try to take a deep breath I find myself coughing hard, some sort of fumes irritating my nose and lungs.

Even though I know he hadn't heard me, Grimmjow strides into our bedroom. When he moves away from the door I find my eyes widening just a little until he takes my attention away from the door and back to him as he lies down beside me. Grimmjow pulls the sheet over our bodies, his arms winding around my waist and pulling me close.

_The drinks...he put something in our drinks._

Fingers comb my hair away from my face as he presses his lips to mine, mumbling against them. "I'm sorry." Our foreheads barely touch each other as his grip around me tightens. "I love you."

Using the small amount of energy I have, I reach up and place my hands on his chest, balling my fingers into the material to make loose fists.

"I..."

My eyes stay locked with his and I can see the flames licking at the doorframe reflected in them.

"...love..."

Even knowing that he's already started the actual fire, I can't find it in me to hate him for it. I hate him for laying his hands on me in such a brutal way, but I love him for doing this.

"...you..."

I feel my eyes drifting shut once more even as I watch his close as well, only knowing that now we don't have to watch our love burn out.

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><p><em>So I ask once more. Don't commentreview with saying how "cute" this pairing is and how "cute" this is. I'll probably lose it._

_Thank you. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless._

_Also, there's a sequel to this out under a different title. ^^ If you didn't understand this, I suggest reading that. It's called_

_Well Done._


End file.
